Most often than not, we all set time lines for things to happen. Some call it good planning and others call it being well organised. When it comes to relationships with the opposite sex, be it serious or casual, we tend to have a time frame in mind that guide us on how we should progress.
I have been thinking about this lately and have begun to question some deep rooted ideas that i have had and therefore decided to just put it out there for you beautiful people!.
How soon is too soon? how long do you have to talk to a person before you give them your phone number? How long do you have to wait to call or text someone for the first time? How long do you have to wait to meet someone after talking to them on the phone? How long do you have to wait before you share your first kiss? How long do you have to wait to tell someone you like them? How long until you have sex with someone and the biggest question, how long do you have to wait to tell someone you love them? ( i know it goes on and on and on and on but, hey! this is me you are talking to!)
Society detects certain things for us. Rules that we have to live by and traditions we have to follow because, they are supposed to be for our own good. If i meet a guy that i like and we hit it off, am i really gone wait for him to call me first? I think that, as a woman, i like to be chased so,, yeah, that is one rule that i Will not leave unbroken. People like to feel wanted and that is a man's way of showing a girl that he wants to get to know her (or get in her pants!) What i wish i knew was if men had rules regarding these things as well. Like how long they have to wait till they call someone. Once a man has initiated the first contact, i am allowed to return the favour as often as he does. When he asks me out for the first time, I'll be all up for that and if he wants to initiate the first kiss on the first date, depending on how badly i have wanted to kiss the guy, i won't mind really. I f the man likes me enough to tell me so and i have the same feelings towards him, i will tell him. It is a chance you are taking after all!. That leaves us with the top two biggies of all time. the S word and the L word.
Let's start with 'sex'. Should you really wait for a while before you sleep with someone you have every intention of sleeping with anyway, just because, we think they'll respect us more? Most women definitely think so. I on the other hand, have got no opinion whatsoever on this particular issue.(don't judge me yet!) As far as i am concerned, men can be devious creatures. If a man wants to just sleep with you and move on, he can be patient about it. He can play the game with you till you are 'ready'. Once my man gets what he wants, he will be out of there like hell itself was on his heels. On the other hand, you can sleep with someone on the first date and they will stay with you anyway because, they genuinely like you and want to be with you. The time frame you put on a sexual act will not really determine if you are gonna have a successful relationship or not. (my opinion, totally). Having said that, male friends of mine tell me sex is a weapon that a woman can use on a guy who really likes her because, let's face it, we all like to have power in a relationship. (women with the power of not giving it up and men with the power of how soon they can make you give it up!) That is where you have to be careful though. Admittedly, a man will appreciate a woman who made him beg a little or proved to be a challenge but, that does not guarantee that he will treat you right just because he waited 3 months or so for the sex. Hence, my reason for staying in neutral grounds when it comes to this particular topic.
The next big once is the Love word. Should a girl tell a guy she loves him first? Should a guy tell a girl he loves her first? How long do they have to be seeing each other before they say it to each other? That is the real scary one right? I have been reading a lot in regards to how love really works if its real and how it should be. What you never find out though is, how soon to tell someone you love them. I mean, you'd think that all those relationship advisers will have a definite answer on that but unfortunately, they don't. If you know you love someone for real, there is no guarantee that they will feel the same for you so, whatever you decide, it will be a risk anyway. You can choose to keep the feelings to yourself and never find out what the other person feels for you or you can chance it and see how it turns out. It is and will always be shrouded in uncertainty. That is love for you. But, there is no such thing as the right time to tell someone you love them because, if its planned, it does not come across as genuine.....
