CHEATING: ACCIDENTAL OR PREMEDITATED???

Cheating. It is something that most people have indulged in on one or more occasions. right from the time when we gave our number to someone else even though we weren't single to the time when we waited for our partner to go to work so we could sneak out and meet someone else.

What do you really consider as cheating though? Is it the sexual act, the thought or the flirting? i for one consider all of this as cheating. I mean, if my boyfriend had a text from some girl who is telling him that she had a nice time at the club, am jumping to conclusions. maybe, he didn't do anything other than just buy her a drink but, why did he giver her his number? there must have been something there right? (my opinion). If am out with someone and some next girl is making goo goo eyes at him and he looks like he is enjoying it and smiling in her direction and looks like he is encouraging it, well then alarm bells are gonna start ringing!! If there is evidence that the guy am with actually got it on with some other chick, then definitely, i am thinking he has cheated on me!!


Honestly though, there are degrees of cheating right? and there is also always someone to blame right? and we can always forgive someone for cheating on us depending on what really happened right? (erm, really?) i have two scenarios and a paragraph about blame!


How about this. I went out to a club and got mad drunk. met this cute guy who started dancing with me and he was drunk as well. we decided to take our 'conversation' somewhere more private. in doing this, we go to the back of the club or even the toilet and do the dirty instead of actually talking. (but, come on, we all knew we weren't really gonna talk right?). so, we done it, and go our separate ways after that. no exchange of phone numbers or BB pins or nothing like that. i don't even remember his name because i am so drunk. i wake up next day, with a massive headache and some recollection of what happened the night before. (OK, did i mention i was drunk?). Feeling guilty about it, am i really going to confess to my partner that i cheated on him with someone whose name i don't even know? its not like am gonna see him again right? and if i confess, is he going to believe me? i wasn't thinking straight. i was under the influence of the alcohol and i can't really be blamed surely?


The next scenario is this; i go shopping and bump into this really good looking guy and we get to talking. We realise we have a lot in common and enjoy each others' company. we exchange numbers and make plans to meet up again soon. I do not tell him i have a partner and he does not tell me he has one either. We text and call each other. i am sneaky with my partner and  very protective of my phone and email and IMs and everything else. I make plans to meet this other guy and we end up sleeping together. the thing is, it does not happen that one time but, goes on for a while. When my partner finally clocks on that something isn't right and confronts me, i have a choice. Confess or deny? now, confessing can lead to two things. forgiveness or not being forgiven. am i willing to lose my partner over some random guy am sleeping with or is my relationship more important than a fling that i can stop and erase all evidence of?


Now, when someone cheats, there always has to be another person there to take the blame. Honestly, we all know some women have no shame and will try and sleep with your man no matter what. and the worse thing is, they will rub it in your face. Goes for some men as well. when my man cheats on me, i am not blaming the girl so much. i mean, some girls were born hoes so, its not really their fault they will sleep with anyone right? the man however should know better shouldn't they? or the man who has got an agenda and they will sleep with any girl just to prove a point. so if this guy moves on your girl and she somehow succumbs to his charms, you are definitely not blaming the that guy right? Because, your girl should really have known better right?





In my eyes, cheating is cheating and nothing should excuse it. But saying that, i feel like a hypocrite because, if i am honest, i have done it and been forgiven and done it and been dumped. So what do i think? well....... forgiveness depends on whether it was accidental or premeditated.....