A NON RELATIONSHIP RELATIONSHIP?

So, i was presented with a very interesting proposition the other day which i found ridiculous. (its totally fictional by the way!!) 
This person that i have liked for a while now and actually enjoy spending time with came up with this idea he thought will be perfect since i am dead set against having a relationship with anyone at all for the foreseeable future.

so, why don't you wanna be with me? do you not like me?
i like you a lot you know that. its just that, i find that relationships suck and i don't really wanna go down that road again if you know what i mean
but i really like you and want to be with you he said.
i know that babe, but you have to try and understand me. i like you top and i enjoy spending time with you but as i said, i am not ready i said.
maybe, you don't like me that much because if you did, nothing will stop you he replied.
its not like that. you know what it is. i just don't think am capable of what you want now and i do not want to hurt you in any way. that was me.
OK. i get what you are saying, but my point is, you cannot give up something without giving it a chance first he said.
OK, so by now, am losing patience a bit because, am not likely to change my mind. I knew i had to find a way to come to a compromise so i said to him, i still wanna see you though. i mean, when am around you, am happy.
i do not want to be your link he says.
i never said i wanted you to be my link i say back.
So, what you are saying is, we should continue to see each other but not have a relationship?
Yes i replied! finally seeing it my way i thought.
That's not good enough for me he said. i want more than that. i don't wanna be the guy you call when you feel like there is nothing else for you to do on a random day and call to come fuck!!! he was shouting at me now.
i tried to be calm as i replied. it really won't be like that babe, you won't be my link. we can still do stuff together, i said lamely.
He scowled at me adoringly and said slowly; OK, let me get it straight. you want to spend time with me right?
Yes, i replied.
You want to go out and do stuff like movies and dinners and ice skating and stuff right? he asked me.
I don't know about the skating bit but, yeah, we can do all the other stuff that you just said, i replied.
OK, he said, drawing in a deep breath, he came out and said this to me; so, basically. what you want is for us to be together without being together? Like, a relationship that is not really a relationship?
OK HOLD ON!! this is me shouting... now am confused. that is not possible is it? it'll just be like linking though won't it? i asked uncertainly.
Well, it will not be exactly like linking because we will be doing all the normal stuff as opposed to just jumping each others bones right he asked me back!
Well, i suppose you are right if you put it that way, i agreed. but really, you won't be my link or my boyfriend so, what else is there? I wondered out loud.
A relationship without a relationship, he said laughing and putting his arms around my waist, pulled me closer and kissed the top of my head.
Ew, i said, can you please not say that out loud? 
He just laughed again and said; remember this was your idea beautiful. so, what would you call it? he asked curious.
Well....i drawled. i suppose we could say that we are seeing each other i guess. but, its not a no strings attached thing in any way so, do not even think about giving me any crap when i find you being friendly with some next chick. i huffed smiling angelically at him.
He looked at me for a few seconds before he burst out laughing again. 
Why are you laughing at me? i asked looking a little pissed.
Am not laughing at you he said. i just think you should make up your mind on what you really want and tell me when you have babe.
Fine! i replied. This is what i want. i want to do all the things that you mentioned (except ice skating) but i do not want to be called your girlfriend. does that make sense to you? i asked
He was trying not to laugh i could tell. but he said; OK. we can do that. only because you are crazy confused and totally irresistible!! 
Hahahaha, i laughed throwing my arms around him and pulling his face to mine to give him a long lingering kiss full of promises....
When we could breath again, he spoke softly and said; we'll have a none relationship relationship babe, if that is what you want.
EW!!  I exclaimed. i said, do not say that out loud i punched him lightly in the chest.
HE just laughed, pulled me into his arms for a hug and said; what ever you say beautiful confused girl...........

FEMINISM?? I THINK NOT!!

Most of the time, some of my girlfriends tell me i think like a man when i air my views about relationships. I think its mostly to do with my easy acceptance of how things are instead of dwelling on how people think it should be and if i can help it, i will not try to change a situation that is not within my control.

I suppose you could call it cowardice but recently, someone asked me an interesting question. He was wondering if i was a feminist and that got me thinking. I know my views are strong about certain things but i wouldn't go that far. As far as am concerned, there are certain things women should not have to do in relationships. The most important is not to think of a man as your husband if he hasn't put a ring on your finger. ( i don't really care what he has told you in secret)!!or whatever. that is just setting your self up for disappointment (but hey, don't listen to me, am the last person to give relationship advise seeing as i suck so much at them!!) 

I don't think a woman should have to be able to do certain things like cook for her to be marriageable!! i mean, come on!! isn't that kind of hypocritical? if a man wants an independent woman who can do her own stuff and help look after the family, he shouldn't expect to get a bloody Stepford wife!!!! 

But back to my point, enough of my ramblings, i do believe that men and women are equal in every way.especially in this modern world we live in. I mean , sure, tradition is good too but.... but, i will not stand for certain things that most people concern themselves with these days. I know some people will probably dislike me a little or a lot for my views but really, am a writer and to be honest, the whole what people think of me matters notion is completely lost on me. (look at me rambling again!!) anyway, as i was saying, i expect to have links, yes as many as i want and at any time that i want. what, should i just sit in my house and wait for Mr right? I don't think so! i have needs for crying out loud and they cannot wait for Mr right! 

When i do get in a relationship with someone, i do not expect him to expect certain things from me or vise versa. for example, i do not expect every guy i date to marry me or have that on his mind! can you imagine how tedious my life will be? how many broken hearts?  jeez, one is enough!! To be perfectly honest, when it comes to marriage, i DO think like a man. why spoil a good thing? that is my motto. do you know how many marriages end in divorce these days? not to mention cheating husbands. Look at it this way, if we ain't married and you cheat or i cheat, we can both walk away from it with no legalities involved, thank you very much!. My second point is, a woman should not have to be able to know how to cook or clean your house or be nice to you friends or kiss your holy ass for her to be marriageable. The only logical reason to wanna marry someone should be an equal amount of love and stupidity!! I really hate it when men go on about girls they are seeing who cannot cook. blud, if you want a cook, go marry auntie Bessie or something you get me? My aunt used to tell me my husband will put my soup in a bottle and post it to my mum someday because, i did not know how to cook when i was young! (yeah, laugh out loud) 

As far as am concerned, relationships, whether serious or not should be equal. after all, what's good for me is good for you but, what do i know eh? i am a 20something who is single and happy to have men doing stuff for me and having no intention of marrying anyone anytime soon!

Money Or Looks????

this is a topic that has always been important to me and i know most people wonder about this as well. i am a very materialistic woman... (don't get me wrong, let me explain first) 

i mean, i look good, no doubt about that!! i place a lot of stock in how a person looks and carries themselves. at the same time, i love MONEY!! i mean, who doesn't? look at how people wake up early in the morning, in winter and travel great distances just to make some money. when it comes to relationships though, there is a conflict. the thing is, i am not waking up everyday at 6:30 the morning to go to work only to end up with a broke man. at the same time, i am not going to be with someone just because of what is in his wallet or credit card... even though that helps. you see the conflict here?

the worst bit though, is when we mix looks with money. i mean, i know a lot of women who do not mind what a man looks like as long as they are paying up.(the classic gold digger). there is also the type of woman who will mix the the two. (date a man who has both looks and money) and the last one is the one or the other kinda gal!! i wonder what category you will place yourself in. 
as far as i am concerned, i am a bit of the second and third one. definitely not the first. i mean, i do not care how much money you have, if you look like SHAKA ZULU, its a deal breaker for me!  as much as i don't like broke men, i will not go out with someone i will not feel proud walking next to. 


if it comes down to it, i will most likely go with the good looking 20 something year old who is starting out in life just like me than be with the 30something with the flashy cars and platinum credit cards who's only dream is to spoil me rotten but looks like errr.... someone not so good looking!. so what if the guy i want because of the looks is broke, arrogant and everything my mum warned me against? my only concern at that point will be how good he will look walking next to me, how many heads will turn to watch us when we walk past as opposed to the other one. i mean sure, people will look at his flashy car and go like wow!! but then as soon as we get out of the car, the first thing in everyone's head will be like 'you know she is with him for the money'!!! i know that is how i will think so, i will not be a hypocrite and pretend others will think good thoughts.


my ideal man though will have to have both. especially the looks. i always lean more towards the looks. call me crazy, i mean money is good. (the best things in life are expensive. just go into selfridges!!) but at the same time, i want to look good with my expensive shopping bags and the good looking man who paid for the stuff in the bags... see, i told you i was materialistic!!!
 

the twilight saga

one of the many things i love in life is the twilight books. i have read my books so many times and watched the movies so much that, i could probably recite from memory (not so sure tho!) anyway, so, i had really high expectations for Eclipse. it was meant to be the best in the series but.... i was disappointed! first of, what is with K-STEW's wig? they couldn't get extensions? i mean, as a black woman, i know its not that hard to get extensions. i do it all the time. it was wrong wrong wrong!! i am not a big fan of RPATZ. i don't see what the fuss is all about but, he was not bad in the movie .( except they made Edward look like a complete wimp with Bella getting on Jake's bike right in front of him and driving off) come on!!! i doubt that happens in real life! unless you want to be dumped. Taylor Lutner is a bad actor!! i don't care if he has a divine body! he sucked in the movie!! the writer got so many things wrong, the pace of the movie was so fast i was almost dizzy by the end of it!. they did get a few things right though. like the fight scene and the tent(even though that could have been better) i did not understand why Bella came across like she didn't care much for Alice in the movie. i know they are BFFs right from new moon through to breaking dawn!. and as for Jasper being in high school with them when he is supposed to be Rosalie's twin and therefore a senior, i am not going to touch on it! i dont know what MR was thinking changing that fact! i hated Bella's speech at the end come on! the only reason she wanted to be a 'bloodsucker' was so she could spend forever with her true love and then she goes on to say this is not about you? ' what was that all about????' anyway, i could go on and on and on but in the end, the movie was actually witty and i loved the back stories as well as the newborns even though they got the Bree Tanner scene all wrong!. i am a twi-hard and will always be, i just hope they do a better job with Breaking Dawn. they owe it to us the faithful fans to get it exactly right this time!